How to Respond to Intrusive Comments About Grief

One especially challenging aspect of grieving is how to respond to well-intentioned yet misguided questions and comments. Too many widows and widowers, for example, are asked when they’ll start dating again. 

Remember that it’s okay not answer

When faced with inappropriate questions, it's important to remember that you don't owe anyone an answer. You have the right to set boundaries and decide how much information to share. You can politely decline to respond by saying something like, "I appreciate your concern, but I'm not ready to discuss that right now." 

Educate, if you feel up to it

Some people just don’t know how to talk about grief with sensitivity. If you feel up to it, kindly explain how certain questions can be hurtful. You may also suggest other ways to help you during this time. Would a meal that you don’t have to cook be welcome? Let them know when you’d enjoy that dinner being dropped off at your door. 

Create a supportive circle

Surround yourself with understanding and compassionate people. Engaging with support groups or online communities, such as For Grief’s private Facebook group, will connect you with others who have faced similar challenges. Sometimes individuals we might never meet in person can be more helpful than our own family and friends. Has that been your experience?

Remember, it’s always important to prioritize your well-being, and it’s always OK to grieve in your own way!