Ideas for Remembering and Celebrating Moms Gone Too Soon

By: Allison Gilbert

I’ve learned a critical lesson in the 25 years since my mother died: the more proactive I am about remembering her, the happier I tend to be. This is because keeping a loved one’s memory alive is absolutely essential for healing. Absence and presence can coexist, and fully embracing this concept is what gives us the greatest strength to move forward, especially if you’ve lost your mom and Mother’s Day fills you with unease. Below are three of my favorite ways to honor moms who are no longer with us.

Repurpose her jewelry. Sure, I wear some of my mother’s jewelry as-is, but a few pieces I’ve refashioned altogether. For my wedding, I had a long strand of her pearls made into several smaller pieces—a bracelet for me, and a pair of earrings for each of my bridesmaids and maid of honor. Wearing the bracelet (and seeing my friends and family still wearing their earrings) continues to make me feel close to my mom.

Get social. Post a picture of your mom on Mother’s Day, along with a short story. Immediately, a dual opportunity is created to reflect and receive: You share memories while also taking comfort in the stories that ricochet back. When I’ve posted pictures of my mother on Facebook, my friends and family chime in with their recollections, too. 

Grow her favorite flowers. Visit your local nursery and buy your mom’s favorite herb, plant, or flower. Plant and grow a memory garden (either in the ground or in several pots) to celebrate what she still means to you. Take comfort in the aromas, colors, and tastes she loved.

Mother’s Day is for all of us. Embracing this notion is both comforting and validating. Acting upon it also has the capacity to boost our sense of joy and overall well-being, even on challenging days like Mother’s Day. 

Allison Gilbert is one of the most thought-provoking and influential writers on grief and resilience. She is the author of numerous books including, Passed and Present: Keeping Memories of Loved Ones Alive. She serves on the Board of Directors of the National Alliance for Grieving Children and the Advisory Board of the Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors. Watch Gilbert’s Google Author Talk, How to Harness Loss to Drive Happiness, here.