The Most Important New Year’s Resolution You Can Make This Year

By: Allison Gilbert

One New Year’s resolution often overlooked is making the commitment to keep our loved one’s memory alive. Being proactive is critical. Taking steps to remember builds our capacity for happiness. Loss is out of our control. Knowing we have the ability to ensure our family and friends won’t be forgotten restores some of the power we need for joy and healing.

To start this year, here are three easy, no-cost ideas from my book, Passed and Present: Keeping Memories of Loved Ones Alive, to help you remember, connect, share, and embrace memories of your loved one:

1. Say Their Name Out Loud – How we talk about loved ones plays a critical role in the way we and others remember them. The more we share our memories, the more our recollections have the capacity to bring us joy. Preparing simple foods that prompt conversation is a great way to begin. A sentimental cookie recipe works just fine! The point is to lower the bar and embrace even the smallest tidbits of opportunity.

2. Celebrate Their Words – Buy a small notebook, one you can carry with you wherever you go. Jot down your loved one’s funny or poignant sayings as soon as they come to you. Consider ways you can make some of these words or phrases an indelible part of your home. Paint a little sign using those words and display it on a bookshelf. Stencil a word or saying directly on a wall.

3. Keep Doing It – What activities did you and your loved one do together? Did you enjoy hiking, cooking, skating, or visiting museums? Don’t also grieve the hobbies you and your loved one shared. Keep doing them. Try to feel your loved one with you.

Whether it was last year or decades ago that you lost someone close to your heart, make this the year to do something that is a purposeful act of remembrance. 

Allison Gilbert is the author of numerous books, including the forthcoming biography of Hearst newspaper columnist Elsie Robinson, to be published by Seal Press, an imprint of Hachette Book Group, in August 2022. Her latest book, Passed and Present: Keeping Memories of Loved Ones Alive, reveals creative ways to remember family and friends we never want to forget.

To mark the 20th anniversary of 9/11, Allison is executive producer of two film projects in collaboration with the 9/11 Memorial & Museum: a documentary called, "Reporting 9/11 and Why It Still Matters,” and a 20-part series, "Women Journalists of 9/11: Their Stories.” Featured journalists include Tom Brokaw, Savannah Guthrie, the New York Times’ Maggie Haberman, NPR’s Linda Wertheimer, and 60 Minutes' correspondent and anchor Scott Pelley, and many others.

Please take a moment to follow her on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook. She’s everywhere as “agilbertwriter."