Make Your Thanksgiving Conversations the Best Ever

By: Allison Gilbert

A funeral director once told me the regrets he hears most often at memorial services. It wasn’t, as I expected, that individuals wished they’d spent more time with loved ones – having one more birthday dinner or going to one last baseball game. The leading cause of remorse was all the questions they never asked, the conversations they pushed off because they believed there’d always be time.

This revelation struck me and changed how I approach family gatherings, in particular Thanksgiving. When my family gathers around the dinner table, before we take a bite to eat, we take the time to talk. Going around the table one at a time, each person shares a personal story that conveys love and gratitude. I tend to learn more meaningful updates about my family from these precious moments than I do at other times of the year. I think this is because we eagerly embrace this annual opportunity to truly listen and learn.

To get this tradition started, you may want to use a card game. My favorite is TableTopics. Of course, you can always write your own questions for free. Bonus: this idea can work for virtual Thanksgiving celebrations, too! I wish you and your loved ones a very happy Thanksgiving. 

Allison Gilbert is the author of numerous books, including the forthcoming biography of Hearst newspaper columnist Elsie Robinson, to be published by Seal Press, an imprint of Hachette Book Group, in August 2022. Her latest book, Passed and Present: Keeping Memories of Loved Ones Alive, reveals creative ways to remember family and friends we never want to forget.

To mark the 20th anniversary of 9/11, Allison is executive producer of two film projects in collaboration with the 9/11 Memorial & Museum: a documentary called, "Reporting 9/11 and Why It Still Matters,” and a 20-part series, "Women Journalists of 9/11: Their Stories.” Featured journalists include Tom Brokaw, Savannah Guthrie, the New York Times’ Maggie Haberman, NPR’s Linda Wertheimer, and 60 Minutes' correspondent and anchor Scott Pelley, and many others.

Please take a moment to follow her on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook. She’s everywhere as “agilbertwriter."