How To Cope With The Loss of a Pet

In the US, 90.5 million homes, about 70% of households, own a pet. We know how these animals become a beloved member of our families and understand how difficult the loss of a pet can be on your family. You shared a special bond with your companion animal. Your pet saw your most vulnerable moments and was by your side through both the best and worst life moments. They are an important part of your family.

In addition to a special bond, pets help dictate a lot of daily routines and can add structure and even some purpose to your day. They can help keep you active and social and even overcome challenges and emotional trials.

Because of this structure and emotional support, the loss of a pet can trigger intense and often overwhelming emotions. The pain comes from losing a companion and loved one, as well as the loss of structure and routine the pet provides in daily life. It can be complicated to adapt.

While everyone will respond to loss individually, some factors will affect those feelings, such as your age and life stage, your pet's age, and their death circumstances. Generally, the more significant part the pet played in your life, the more emotional you'll feel.

We all know that experiencing loss is an inevitable part of owning a pet, but that doesn't minimize the feelings at the time. Here are some healthy ways to help you cope with grief and learn to be open to a new pet.

The first step is acknowledging that grief isn't "one size fits all," and you shouldn't compare your emotional response to losing a pet to anyone else's or compare it to losing a loved one. For some people, grieving a pet might be more difficult than grieving a human based on their relationship and other factors.

The critical thing to remember is that no matter your emotions after losing a pet, know that those feelings are valid and your emotional response is justified.

There is no standard timetable for grief, nor is there a traditional experience. Everyone will experience grief in their own way. It's best to allow yourself and other family members affected by the loss the space to experience and process their own emotions.

As part of that, don't try to ignore or suppress your feelings of sadness or pain. Remember, your feelings are valid, and by expressing your grief, you will have a healthier grief experience and will likely need less time to heal than if you "bottled up" your emotions.

You can express your feelings by chatting with close friends and family members or writing about your thoughts in a journal.

Here are some other suggestions about how to cope with grief:

• Reach out to others who have lost pets.

  • Through online support groups, or even just trusted friends and family, it can be helpful to speak with others who have experienced the same thing and how they were able to cope with the grief and experience healing.

• Don't let others tell you how to feel.

  • Unfortunately, some might try to minimize the pain and emotions you feel because it was "just a pet." Don't let those people get to decide how you feel or how you grieve.

• Rituals can help healing.

  • A funeral can allow you and other family members to express feelings and share thoughts. Do what feels right for you and your family.

• Create a memorial.

  • You can plant a tree or create a photo album as part of the funeral. Doing things that help you remember your pet can provide joy and help you move on.

• Practice self-care.

  • The loss of a pet can be highly stressful and emotional; during that difficult time, try to make a point to maintain healthy eating, exercise, and sleep habits. 

• Try to maintain a routine.

  • As mentioned above, pets can help add structure and routine to our lives. If you used to walk your dog in the mornings, try to keep up that habit so your routine isn't as drastically altered due to the loss.

• If needed, seek professional help.

  • If your grief is ongoing and gets in the way of your ability to function, your doctor or mental health professional can evaluate you for depression.

Animals love us unconditionally, softening our lives with sweetness and affection. Such treasures can never be forgotten. Keep reminding yourself it’s okay to feel and do what you can each day. As you continue to navigate your grief and healing journey, remember to be kind and patient with yourself. Also, don't hesitate to reach out to others for additional support during this time.